LET US LOVE OURSELVES

I got breast cancer at the end of 2002, when I was 35 years old. In December I first felt a small lump in my left breast. I waited until January when we organized preventive breast examinations in Vrhnika. The doctor who examined me immediately sent me to get a puncture where they found out that I had hormonal cancer. Fortunately, it was discovered at an early stage. In March 2003 I had surgery. My breast didn't have to be amputated but radiation and hormonal therapy were necessary. For five years I have been taking the anti-hormonal medication Nolvadex, and for two years Zoladex which meant I fell into artificial menopause. I lost my menstruation, I had hot flashes and I was depressed. Borut, my partner and later husband, helped me chase away the pessimistic thoughts from my soul. Young healed women from Europa Donna, whom I joined when I fell ill, also partly helped me with this. When I saw how vibrant, cheerful, diligent and confident they were, I started breathing in a more relaxed way, too. Suddenly, breast cancer didn't seem to be such a terrible monster. But the truth is, I started to work on myself more. If I did that before, I probably would not have fallen ill. Then I got married and in 2006 I graduated.

Doctor Žgajnar who operated on me also helped me a lot with my rehabilitation. He wasn't only my surgeon and oncologist but also in some way my psychiatrist. He supported me and I trusted him completely. Each time we met, I had many questions for him and he answered them all in a very clear, understandable and very kind way.
Then I formed new goals in my life. In order to overcome menopausal problems I started to practice sports, especially jogging and cycling. I started to consciously avoid stress and overcome negative thoughts. I began to be more aware of myself, of my existence, of mortality. I paid special attention to healthy food and returning to nature. I started gardening and realised that it truly relaxes me.

I didn't hide my disease from anyone, on the contrary, I spoke loudly and very openly about it. I didn't go to work until I finished healing with Zoladex, then I slowly got back to work for a part time job. Soon afterwards the company went bankrupt and I ended up at the unemployment office. I told myself that if I had managed to overcome my disease, I would also find a new job, and I found it.

Now I live dynamically, with my husband we always look forward to every weekend as we both love hiking very much. Every year we also have a bit longer vacation in one of the foreign countries. We also give each other some space for freedom which I find very important for a good relationship. I also love socializing with my »pinky« female friends from Europa Donna, Association for the Fight against Breast Cancer. We have a good time together, also because we can talk about everything, we share experiences and advice.

The disease convinced me that we are much stronger than what we think. We have potential and skills that surface when we have to fight.

~Joži