I SEW AND ENJOY IT

I am Valerija Treven and I live in a simple village called Smrečje. I used to be a wife and I am a mother of three, now already grown up boys. My childhood was nice, carefree and connected with nature. I spent my childhood years living on a small farm where I learned many simple skills. I was taught to be honest and sincere and I am still loyal to these values in my life. I spent many days with my grandfather in his workshop where he always used to be creating something. And he handed his love for creativity to me, too. I learned to become a seamstress and I found my life purpose in that. My life motto is: I sew and enjoy it. 

I spent some time with my grandmother who was bedridden in her old age and I learned how to listen to and help a person in such condition. This knowledge helped me get a job in a retirement home where I worked for a few years and where I gained new experiences and skills.
I got married at 21 and, as many young girls, I created a family. My deceased husband and me were building our home and raising our children together. We were an average, typical family which disintegrated before I was 42 years old. I had to face my husband’s suicide and I remained alone with three teenagers. That was a turning point which changed my life. I never thought that something like that could happen to me as my husband was actually a really cheerful man.
My family was heavily stigmatized by this because such a cruel deed or fate brings a special stigma upon the house. Even the word “suicide” is horrible by itself, let alone having to actually deal with it. No matter what, you have to cope with it and take life in your own hands. People told me to listen to my heart and not to be bothered by rumors, because when you live in a small village, such rumors are even more obvious. But I didn’t know how to listen to my inner voice.
Now I know that whatever does not kill you, makes you stronger. I learned a lot from that experience and I arrived at the conclusion that everything happens with a reason, really everything. Now I can truly listen to and hear my soul and my inner voice. And it is always right. But it is difficult to learn this and sometimes I still don’t hear it. This happens to all of us. But with years I am becoming wiser: we all keep learning all the time, until we finally learn. We came to this world to gain experiences and new knowledge. This is how our souls evolve and, of course, so do we. I can say this now, after such a long time. I went through really difficult things and situations, when I didn't know, how to go on and if I would even make it. Today I am happy and proud of myself, and above all, I am proud of my three sons as we made it through together. I am grateful that I am what I am today, and I see life differently. I want to live. Sometimes I fell into despair, too, but when I saw my children, I felt that it is worth living. I gave all of me to my sons, as much as I could in every given moment or situation. I also had faith to lean upon and of course conversations with my friend. Suicide was still a taboo topic in those days but I needed to talk about it. Talking and still more talking about it was the way of healing my wounds.
I am willing to talk about this experience and listen to any person who is dealing with this. I truly invite such a person to talk about it, to share his or her experiences and thus help each other. By doing this, we also heal ourselves. It is not good to reach for various medical pain killers. Of course, sometimes we have to do that, too, but I managed to avoid that.

So, I am here for you, ready to hear and listen to every account of immense pain and together we can manage to get through it.

With love for all of you who are dealing with such situation,

~Valerija Treven