Excess weight

I was born in 1949. My problems with excess weight started immediately after the birth of my first son in 1969. Before giving birth, I weighed 69 kg, but by the time of the birth of my second son in 1975, I weighed 118 kg. Obesity runs in my family, and was further exacerbated by my work in the kitchen, where food was always within reach, but my lack of motivation was the main contributing factor to my weight gain. I think that perhaps I would have been more diligent with my diet if my husband had expressed concern about my excessive weight, but he always stood up for me when others teased me about it.

I felt good until 2006, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At that point, I completely lost hope and gained weight up to 152 kg. I soon decided to lose weight under medical supervision, as I was struggling with hormonal imbalances. I started going to the gym and taking long walks with friends every Sunday. I was able to lose 49 kg, but soon regained weight back up to 134 kg. Despite this, my weight did not stop me from walking or performing farm work. Eventually, I decided to try to lose weight again, this time with the help of Herbalife products, which I spent a lot of money on. After my husband passed away, I lost hope and gained weight again, as I was without motivation and feeling depressed due to all my troubles. I started experiencing respiratory problems. My personal doctor referred me to a cardiologist, who did not find any major heart problems, but scolded me for my excessive weight. I made the decision to lose weight again, and by the next check-up, my weight had decreased from 129 kg to 100 kg. Although I was praised for my weight loss, I did not feel much better. I lost my motivation and ended up at 122 kg. During the Covid-19 pandemic, my legs, especially my knees and almost my entire spine, started to hurt, so I had to give up my years of exercise and walks.

Now I am trying to combat my excess weight on my own and have already lost 11 kg. I will continue to try, as a weight under 95 kg is a requirement for knee surgery. When I look back, it seems like I am doomed to sacrifice everything and be hungry all the time. It is not easy, it hurts a lot and my conscience also hurts when I gain weight. I blame myself, which is why I hope and believe even more that I will endure. Otherwise, an invalid cart awaits me soon.

~ Anika